ROBYN HITCHCOCK

Does anyone remember this guy?  Back in the day (I mean, college, 20's), Hitchcock was major.  I mean, all my fellow musical travellers loved this dude.  I was always having to hear what a classic I Often Dream Of  Trains (or whatever) was - that is when I wasn't having to hear I Often Dream Of Trains (or whatever).

And not just that - oh he was in the press all the time.  Constant praise and coverage in SPIN et al.  Here's Trouser Press:

Robyn Hitchcock is one of pop's great surrealists, an artist whose work has the appearance of familiarity yet none of its reassurance. While he often gets compared to poor old Syd Barrett (an acknowledged influence), this London native has closer relations outside the music world: Rene Magritte (logic-defying juxtapositions), Marcel Duchamp (dada absurdity), Edward Lear (whimsical, grotesque fabrications), Charles Addams (gloomy, cartoonish venom). Displaying a keen sense of irony as well as a dry, put-on (and put-upon) wit, Hitchcock's creations — in song, story, graphics and film — erect puzzling layers of incredibility that stymie presumptions about motivation or meaning. At his worst, when his penchant for self-amusement runs away with him (as it sometimes does), Hitchcock can be far too self-conscious in his pretense of eccentricity, making nonsense seem equally glib and random. At his best, however, he wields bizarre imagery brilliantly to make stealth runs at life's most challenging problems, elevating the mundane to provocative art.

Way-ull,  goshamighty!  What are we gonna say to that!??

Me - I was unmoved.  I stayed unmoved.  I heard him and heard him, and I even saw him perform once - opening for R.E.M.  I thought maybe I'd get it when I saw him perform.  Nope.  I was still unmoved.  Yeah, he had an occasional (all-too occasional) gift for a good hook and melody.  Yeah, his lyrical images (and themes) were plenty weird-ass.  But so what?  The hooks didn't hold and the music was always typical 80's pop - keyboard-drenched, chimey guitars, ultra-flat drum sounds (GOD I HATED THE 80'S!!!!).  I took comfort c. `90 when I read this in Christgau's updated Record Guide:

 Hitchcock is the kind of English eccentric who becomes impossible to bear when he's taken up by American Anglophiles. I admired the Soft Boys' 1980 Underwater Moonlight and Robyn's own 1981 Black Snake Diamond Role from a distance, but my enthusiasm dimmed as he and his Egyptians became college-radio idols ... I have no doubt that scattered among his albums are songs strong enough to withstand his professional-oddball attentions, and if I were more spiritually advanced I might even swallow my prejudices and learn to enjoy him for what he is. Which is what? A rock and roll cross between H.P. Lovecraft and Kingsley Amis? Way too kind, but that's as much thought as I intend to give the matter.

I often disagree with Christgau, but on this one I thought he nailed it.
BUT!

(you knew there was a BUT coming, didn't you?)

One night in `89 Hitch hosted MTV's 120 Minutes, which I used to watch in hopes of catching a good vid or two. I should mention here that, not working in the guy's favor was that I had a major case of anglophobia in the 80's.  I really, really hated the fact that college kids were still grooving on foppish British pop bands and gloomy British goth and industrial bands when great rock`n'roll was pouring out of seemingly every state in the union.  Who needed Love and Rockets when we had The Replacements?  Hell, who needed Love and Rockets, period (not me!!)?

Anyway, so Robyn Hitchcock was hosting 120 Minutes and doing his usual darling little British eccentric bit and telling his half-finished stories (which I'd heard so much about - and wasn't impressed by), and he brought along his acoustic guitar.  And he pulled out a number called "One Long Pair Of Eyes."

And, for the length of the song, I was entranced.  For that few minutes, I thought, maybe there was something to this guy.  No, there definitely was.  It's a great song.

Unfortunately, godammit, the version on the CD was back to the full-band, pop-froth crap that ruined everything even remotely promising the guy did.  It wasn't half the song the acoustic version was.  I did kind of like "Madonna Of The Wasps," I admit.  But really, I was only more frustrated, and if I wanted British whimsy, I preferred Bevis Frond (at least he rocked).

Fast forward 19 years or so.  120 Minutes is a thing of the past and so are my 20's and much of what went with it.  I've reevaluated a few things since then.  One night I thought of "One Long Pair Of Eyes" (ahhhh .... sigh....) and I thought, well, maybe Hitchcock's due for a reevaluation.  Or maybe at least there's a recording of "Eyes," unplugged, someplace?

So, thanks to Amazon, file-sharing, Youtube, etc ... I sampled all of Hitchcock's catalog.  And - y'know what?

(Now, in case you're expecting some epiphany here, some moment where I humbly admit that I was wrong all those years and Hitchcock really is a genius and I get it now, well .... I ... hate ... to ... disappoint you ... but ....)

I was absolutely dead fucking right!  Nailed it.  Everything I disliked about Hitchcock then, I dislike now.  BUT...

(you knew there was another BUT coming, didn't you?)

Shorn of his band, he was much more interesting. And, yes, those songs "scattered among his albums  -- strong enough to withstand his professional-oddball attentions" really do exist and, thanks to Amazon and Internet Archive (which is home to a host of Hitchcock shows, from one of which I retrieved an acoustic "One Long Pair Of Eyes" and a startling "She Doesn't Exist," possibly the bleakest I'm-done-with-you number ever, and 15 other tracks that were good enough to want to hear again, and I made myself a nifty little compilation CD (god I love my CD burner!).  It's not something I listen to often, but I'm glad it's there, when I wan' it.

P.S. everything I said here pretty much goes for The Soft Boys, too.  But "I Wanna Destroy You" is a great song.

(I'll still take Bevis Frond, though.  Sorry Katherine)

The Museum of Robyn Hitchcock
Robyn Hitchcock wiki
Robyn Hitchcock Allmusic
Internet Archive - Live Shows

Essential Listening

You're asking me?  After all that shit above?  You think I'm a good judge?
Look, the songs that made the cut for me appear on these albums: Greatest Hits ("Madonna Of The Wasps", "Globe Of Frogs", "One Long Pair Of Eyes", "She Doesn't Exist"), Globe Of Frogs ("Globe Of Frogs" again, "Vibrating", "Sleeping With Your Devil Mask") Obliteration Pie ("Chinese Bones"), I Wanna Go Backwards ("Bones In The Ground", "I Used To Say I Love You","Not Even A Nurse", "Slow Chant/That's Fantastic Mother Church", "Toadboy", "When I Was Dead","Winter Love","You're So Repulsive") Live Death ("The Arms Of Love" - original is on The Soft Boys Live at the Portland Arms) and Moss Elixir ("The Speed Of Things").  Fans will notice almost none of his most celebrated tracks are here. That's cuz I don't like `em!

HOWEVER - of these, only in the cases of "Toadboy", "You're So Repulsive", "Sleeping With Your Devil Mask" and "Slow Chant/That's Fantastic Mother Church" did I use the album tracks.  For everything else, I chose live, solo acoustic versions drawn from shows found on Internet Archive (see link above).  As you should be able to tell by now, I find solo Hitchcock vastly, humongously, infinitely, immeasurably, unimaginably preferable to any band recordings.  Unfortunately, I was too lazy then to note which shows I drew them from, and I'm far too lazy to go back and research it now.  If you're interested, go nuts.  The stuff is free and officially sanctioned, and I gave you a map.